Dan Smith & Mary K. Hucyke: CourageousSpace Newsletter: September/October 2007
Personal Renewal: A Prerequisite for Leading Congregational Renewal
51-year-old male with symptoms of depression, the patient has high blood pressure and is overweight, presenting a heightened risk of heart disease and other illnesses. He works 60-70 hours a week in a sedentary job, does not currently engage in any physical exercise, and reports considerable work-related stress. Patient is married, with three children, one of whom expresses interest in following patient's career path. Patient expresses little enthusiasm for encouraging child to do so.
Nope, that's not a doctor's description of the typical man in your congregation,
but a statistically based overview of the typical Lutheran pastor written by
Dr Gwen Halaas, author of Ministerial Health and Wellness Report 2002 for the
ELCA. And you know, as well as we do, that it's not just Lutherans. Pastors
of every denomination are struggling with self-care issues.
We're addressing it here, in a newsletter about leadership and congregational
development, for two reasons:
1. We constantly meet and work with pastors who are committed to leading their
congregation into renewal and greater health, but who consistently ignore their
own renewal and their own health.
2. When a pastor ignores his or her own personal renewal, that pastor undercuts
his or her own leadership more effectively than any troublesome staff person
or congregant might.
Much of the problem lies in that while others may see or sense the joy draining
from our ministry, we're often not aware of it ourselves until it's too late.
Heaviness and burden replace enthusiasm. Brittleness sets in and we begin to
crack around the edges. Relationships become tense, stressful, and filled with
conflict. We feel trapped by the work and long for escape. Our goal is to simply
get through the day, the week, Christmas. We live from a survival mentality
and model the very thing we preach against.
Do not expect to be effective in leading congregational renewal when you are
in this state. If we are going to do ministry, we have to be healthy.
We know first hand how easy it is to slip into. Most of us have a high need
to please people, to be well thought of and thus the compulsion to respond to
any need or request voiced. And, most of us feel the responsibility, the compulsion,
to lead the congregation into increased measurable success. We work hard to
develop programs and patterns that bring those results. When the results don't
appear or when they begin to slip after appearing, we work harder. Surely, we
simply are not trying hard enough!
We become like a work horse with blinders on plowing the furrow. We put our
heads down and focus on only what is right in front of us – the latest
fire, the latest urgent crisis. We stop to take care of ourselves only after
we've taken care of everything else...or when we finally burn-up or burn-out.
No level of ecclesiastical leadership is immune. With wisdom, the United Methodist
Church's Book of Discipline recognizes the tendency even for bishops and district
superintendents to ignore personal renewal. The church creates a structure to
guard against slipping unconsciously into the results. For bishops, up to a
three months leave each quadrennium is mandated "for purposes of reflection,
study, and self-renewal." While not mandated for superintendents, permission
is given for up to a three months leave during their term "for purposes
of reflection, study, and self-renewal."
For the local church pastor in the United Methodist Church, taking formal leaves
are the exception rather than the rule. Though the Book of Discipline makes
provisions for local church pastors to apply for sabbatical or study leaves,
most pastors don't.
We're not saying anything new. You've been hearing this from your denomination
and reading it in journals for years. Many of our clients, even though they
know the wisdom of it, resist tending to their own self-renewal. "I feel
awkward claiming for myself, something that leaders in other fields don't seem
to need."
The tide has shifted. Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee in their book Resonant
Leadership studied the relationship of self-renewal and effectiveness of leaders
in business. Their findings clearly indicate that dissonance develops over time
between a leader and people led if self-renewal is ignored. Effectiveness continually
declines, reaching a crisis level after seven years of inattention to an intentional,
on-going renewal process. Boyatzis and McKee identify mindfulness, hope, and
compassion as the three key qualities leaders must intentionally nurture within
themselves to maintain resonant, effective leadership. Ironic, isn't it? That
it's the business culture pointing pastors to the importance of embodying and
modeling these Christ-like behaviors.
It's certainly where many of us begin when we first start out - mindful of and
anchored in a deep sense of call and purpose. Hope fills our days; we know the
results we want and believe they are attainable. Caring and compassion permeate
our relationships. We bring a joy and a spirit that resonates with people and
they respond positively. Over time, work takes over. The tasks, the "to
do" list grows. There simply is no time for what does not potentially hold
out the promise of immediate results for there is so much to do NOW –
if not yesterday.
Mindfulness, hope, and compassion slowly fade as time and processes for nurturing
them are neglected. Adversity and contention replace compassion in relationships
among people – and between the people and us. And, we eventually find
ourselves on the path of either burn-out or eminent burn-up.
When our coaching clients reach this point we use a variety of words, but the
basic meaning is: STOP! Stop, take time and do the work of developing mindfulness,
hope, and compassion within yourself. Become aware of what is happening in your
life. Revisit what you really value, what is important. Become anchored again
in the vision that brought you into ministry. Open yourself to the hope that
grows as you focus on the creative presence of God with you in your work. Find
those ways and places where you can experience and receive compassion in your
life and extend it. They may or may not have anything to do with church!
Renewal requires more than just rest. It doesn't happen simply by taking a day
off or taking a vacation – although these are extremely important. Renewal
is also different than escape. Playing solitaire on the computer may be your
default escape, but if it leaves you feeling bleary-eyed and groggy, it's not
renewing you. Renewal is about giving yourself to things that feel like they
"save" you. Things that leave you feeling like you can breathe better,
or move more freely, or think more widely, or with a bit more energy. Things
that leave you feeling more mindful, more hopeful, more compassionate. Yes,
it means setting aside time and space.
You will need to experiment to see what works for you. One of our clients claims
an hour a day for reflective bible reading and prayer. Another spends time each
morning journaling at a table set up with art supplies - she journals with paint
or clay as often as with words. Another spends 15 minutes prior to every meeting
simply anchoring himself in how he wants to be present in the meeting, visualizing
the persons who will be present and stepping into a place of deep caring for
each person. Another dedicates half a day each month for her covenant group
– a place where the norm is to leave gripes at the door and bring in only
what will build people up. Another spends a reflective day each month at a retreat
center. Another walks dogs at a local pet shelter. Another practices yoga daily.
Another takes late afternoon walks with a neighbor.
Experiment! Try something out and then after a period of time try something
else out. Again, you're looking for those activities that leave you feeling
more mindful, more hopeful, and more compassionate.
It is work and it requires clarity about the results that you want and a strong
intention on your part. Your intention needs to be strong enough that you schedule
the time into your calendar, before you put others into it. The total time you
"clock" in a week may not change. The quality of your ministry, the
impact of your ministry, and your experience of ministry will change.
If you won't do for yourself, do it for your church.